setting the scene

Love is a very difficult word to define, perhaps because its reality approaches spiritual dimensions, which are beyond time and space, and therefore, our comprehension. What is the true meaning of love? Many people believe love is a sensation that magically generates when the right person appears and just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it, However, some people think that there is nothing to learn about love, that everything is already there in our genes, in our nature. Love means different things to different people

Love Doesn't Come Easy

What is love? some people say that love is a skill. If so, then both effort and knowledge are necessary. Perhaps love is just luck, something people come across as chance happening. This article is based on the premise that love requires work, time, and effort, though most people still believe that love is based on fortune and destiny. people are actually starved for love. However, they think that to love is simple, but that finding the right object to love, or to be loved by, is difficult. This viewpoint is grounded in the development of modern society. Love is a very important idea in our society, as reflected in the infinite numbers of movies about blissful and heartbreaking love stories and the hundreds of tacky songs about love. Nevertheless, most people still believe that there is nothing more that needs to be learned about love.

Another premise leading to the point of view that there is nothing to be learned about love is caused by the bewilderment between the initial experience of falling in love, and the lasting state of being in love, or shall we say, of "standing in love." If two strangers all of a sudden let the invisible wall between them fall, and feel intimate, feel as one, then this moment of oneness is one of the most exhilarating, most electrifying experiences in life. It is all the more wonderful and miraculous for persons who have been cut off and isolated from love. sexual attraction only adds to this level of sudden intimacy, causing the new relation ship to seem all the more miraculous. However, this type of love is by its very nature temporary. The longer two people are together, the less miraculous their intimacy seems, thus destroying disappointment, and mutual boredom. Nevertheless, they do not know all of this in the beginning, believing that the intensity of their infatuation, this phenomenon of being crazy about each other, is a result of the intensity of their love for one another, when in fact it may simply be the evidence of their former lonely existence.

An additional mistake leading to the assumption that there is nothing to be learned about love is that many people see love as a phenomenon of being loved, rather than the action of loving. Therefore, the dilemma to them is how to be loved and how to be lovable. To aspire to this objective, they have several options. One, which is chiefly used by men, is to be successful, to be as powerful and rich as the social margin of one's position permits. Another, used particularly by women, is to make oneself attractive, by cultivating one's body and dress. other ways of making oneself attractive, used by both men and women, are to develop good manners, fascinating conversation, and to be modest, helpful, and inoffensive. Many of the ways to make of the ways to make oneself lovable are the same as those used to make oneself successful, to win friends, and influence people. As a matter of fact, what most people in our culture mean by being lovable is essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal.

This outlook that nothing is easier than to love has continued to be the prevalent concept about love despite the overwhelming proof that renounces it. It is difficult to find another activity or enterprise which is rooted in such anticipation and hope and disappoints and fails so repeatedly as love. If this were the case with any other endeavor, people would be either ardent to discover the reasons for the failure, and to learn how they could improve the outcome, or simply throw their hands in the air. since the latter is impossible in the case of love, there seems to be only on sufficient way to overcome the failure of love: to investigate the reasons for this failure, and to preserve with studying the meaning of love.